EJ Reveals His Nicknames

Alfredo Aceves - Ace, Dennis Rodman, Jr., Double A

The first and third ones are self explanatory: his name is Aceves, so Ace, Double A because he's Alfredo Aceves, AA. Dennis Rodman, Jr comes from him saying that he wants to be a Dennis Rodman personality on the baseball field, he wants to intimidate the opponent and be like a bull. Thus, Dennis Rodman, Jr.

Jonathan Albaladejo - Alby, J.A., Jonny Boy

All 3 are self explanatory.

Brian Bruney - Brunester, Fryin' Brian

Brunester is self explanatory, Fryin' Brian is fairly self explanatory, it comes from his blazing fastball that fries hitters, if you will. Thus, Fryin' Brian.

AJ Burnett - Assassin, Badass/Bad Bad Burnett, Burn Baby Burn

Assassin... there's a nickname that I came up with with Virginia. See, he has really nasty stuff and when he's on, he strikes you out quickly and efficiently. His demeanor is tough, ruthless and unfazed. Like an assassin. Badass/Bad Bad Burnett is pretty self explanitory. It's basically the same thing as the Assassin; he's tough, ruthless, and you're not going to stop him from doing his job, which is getting you out. Burn Baby Burn was Bernie Williams at first, but the new Burn Baby Burn is AJ Burnett, since, well his name is Burnett.

Joba Chamberlain - 62 Chambers, Joba the Hut, JC

If you're not satisfied with calling him Joba, you have three options. You have JC, you have 62 Chambers, which derives from the old school Wu Tang Clan hip hop album 36 Chambers (Enter the Wu-Tang). Joba the Hut is pretty obvious.

Anthony Claggett - Air Conditioner, Claggy

Anthony Claggett's initials are A.C., thus, Air Conditioner. Claggy is obvious.

Phil Coke - Ice Cold, Philthy Phil Coke

Ice Cold is the default nickname, because he's "ice cold" when he gets you on a filthy(or philthy if you will) pitch, and there's nothing better than an "Ice Cold" Coke. Philthy Phil is obvious.

Chad Gaudin - Gaudin the Man

Guadin is pronounced "Goh-dan". "Goh-dan", therefore it rhymes, silly.

Phil Hughes - Hugs, Philthy Phil Hughes

Take out the he in Hughes, and you get "Hugs". And come on, who doesn't want to hug Phil Hughes? Philthy Phil is, again, obvious.

Damaso Marte - Damn Maso, D-Mart

Damn Maso can be used in two different ways: when he struggles, you say "Damn Maso!" in frustration. When he's pitching well, you say "Daaaayumn, Maso!" D-Mart is obvious.

Mark Melancon - On the Mark Melancon, Lance, MarKKKK

On the Mark is obvious, Lance comes from his sharp curveball and his last name, which is pronounced Meh-LANCE-un. You see the Lance? MarKKK is obvious, when he strikes out a lot of people, add more K's to the end of his name. Durr. 

Sergio Mitre - Surge, Double Tre, Meat Tray

Surge is Sergio without the io. And it sounds cool, because he's SURGING. Double Tre is a nickname that Michael Kay didn't intend to give, he said double play but he wanted to say Mitre got it and instead screwed up and said "Double Tre". And it works, because he gets a lot of double tres. I mean, plays. Meat Tray is a different pronunciation of Mitre, whenever he struggles, "Sergio, you damn Meat Tray!"

Andy Pettitte - Andrew Eugene, Lefty

Andrew Eugene Pettitte is his full name, and Michael Kay calls him that often. Lefty is pretty obvious, I would think...

Edwar Ramirez - Comelon, Everyday Eddy

Comelon is a Spanish word for "big eater", which is clear sarcasm cause that dude is skinny as shizznit. Everday Eddy is Eddy Guardado's nickname, but I stole it. Mwahahahaha!

Mariano Rivera - Mo, Glengarry Glen Ross, Sandman

Mo is obvious. Glengarry Glen Ross is an old movie/play, and in one of the scenes a man named Blake(Alec Baldwin) comes over to shake the men up and get them to do their job, basically. And so, one of the famous parts from Baldwin is him bringing out a blackboard with the words "Always Be Closing" on it. He-- just look at the scene dang it. It's very profane. Anyways, this applies to Mariano because he's a closer, and well, he's always closing. Sandman is obvious: he comes into "Enter Sandman" by Metallica.

David Robertson - D-Rob, King David

D-Rob and King David are obvious.

CC Sabathia - CC Top, The Big Man

CC Top because CC comes closer to a beard than anyone on the Yanks, and a group called ZZ Top has huge notorious beards, and his name is CC, so CC Top. Also, he makes hitters sing the blues. CC Sabathia is a very big man, obviously, so The Big Man.

Kevin Cash - Cash Money, Kevin the Catcher

Cash Money is a pretty obvious name: his name is Cash, Cash Money is a hip hop thing, so Cash Money. Kevin the Catcher is alliteration, and Kev is a catcher, thus: Kevin the Catcher.

Francisco Cervelli - Frankie Hustle, Cisco Systems, Elliot Johnson's Best Friend

Frankie Hustle comes from another blog that I don't even remember, but it's his default nickname. Cisco Systems is a company, and his name is FranCISCO, thus, Cisco Systems. Elliot Johnson's Best Friend-- remember the spring training game where that Tampa Bay Rays player ran over the Yankees catching prospect and fractured his wrist, and there was big controversy? That Tampa Bay Rays player was Elliot Johnson, and that catching prospect was Francisco Cervelli. Well, it appears that Elliot Johnson's running over Cervelli didn't help him much, but Frankie's sure done better. 

Jose Molina - The Double Machine

The Double Machine, Dad and I call him. Why? Because he hits a lot of doubles. Pretty obvious. He's strong but not strong enough to homer and he's way too slow to make it to third, so, The Double Machine.

Jorge Posada - Jip Jip Jorge, Boy Jorge, Jorgie Boy

Jip Jip Jorge is obvious, as is Boy Jorge(Boy George is a recording artist, a seriously weird one but whatever), Jorgie Boy is also obvious.

Robinson Cano - Robby, The Son of San Pedro, B.B.B.E. (Bases Better Be Empty)

Robby is obvious. The Son of San Pedro? He was born in San Pedro de Macoris of the Dominican Republic, so, Son of San Pedro. B.B.B.E. is also already explained, he hits much better with the bases empty, although we regain confidence in his clutchness now that he hit a walkoff yesterday. 

Jerry Hairston, Jr. - Junior, The J-Hey Kid, Hairball

Junior is obvious. The J-Hey Kid; Willie Mays' nickname was notoriously "The Say Hey Kid", and so, Jerry Hairston, Jr. is the J-Hey Kid. Hairball is pretty obvious: he's a baseball player, his name is Hairston. Whenever he does something very good, just say "We playin' Hairball now!"

Derek Jeter - El Capitan, DJ, Number 2

El Capitan is "The Captain" in Spanish, and he is the Captain of the New York Yankees, so that's obvious. DJ is obvious. Number 2 is obvious.

Juan Miranda - Miranda Miranda, Juanito

Miranda Miranda is an old Spanish show, so my mom and I would tease him by chanting that if he ever played at all. Juanito is obvious: it's "Little Juan" in Spanish.

Ramiro Pena - The Ram, Better Than Carlos, The Human Highlight Reel

The Ram is obvious, Better Than Carlos? Haha, that's not a serious comparison, but I like to say that sometimes whenever he does something good. The Human Highlight Reel is his real nickname; he makes great defensive plays and when he hits, he usually hits in clutch situations, therefore, he's a Human Highlight Reel.

Alex Rodriguez - A-Rod, Alexander the Great, In the Hole

A-Rod is obvious, as is Alexander the Great, In the Hole is my nickname for him because he's always 0-2 whenever he comes up to hit.

Mark Teixeira - Tex, Marky Mark, On the Mark Teixeira

All obvious.

Melky Cabrera - Lil' Leche, Melk Man, Senor Cycle, Mr. Clutch

Lil Leche: Leche is milk in Spanish. Melk Man is a play on Milkman. Senor Cycle is his nickname after hitting for the first Bomber cycle since 1995. Mr. Clutch because he always gets a big hit in clutch situations.

Johnny Damon - JD, The Demon, Johnny Boy, The Idiot, Army Brat

JD is obvious, the Demon because his name is Damon so you can change that up, The Idiot comes from his Red Sox days, Army Brat because when he grew up, he was an army boy, living with his dad, a soldier in Vietnam.

Shelley Duncan - Dunco, Dunkin' Donuts, Pockets Fulla Shells

Dunco is obvious, as is Dunkin/Duncan Donuts. Pockets Fulla Shells is a very obscure one: it comes from the Rage Against the Machine hit "Bulls on Parade", in which the chorus is "They rally 'round the family/With pockets full of shells", and since Shelley seems like the kind of heavy metal guy who should be described by a heavy RATM song like Bulls on Parade, it seems to work.

Brett Gardner - Brett the Jet, Shorty, The Flash

Brett the Jet comes from his speed, Shorty comes from him being like, the shortest dude on the Yankees. The Flash or The Human Flash comes from both his speed and resemblance to the Superhero "The Flash".

Eric Hinske - Hinskinator, Mr. Patient

Hinskinator is obvious, Mr. Patient comes from him barely being able to play on the Yankees after being acquired from the Pirates, and still being able to come through with homers.

Xavier Nady - X-Man, X Marks the Spot

Both are obvious.

Nick Swisher - Swishalicious, Slick Nick, Road Warrior, An Even Bigger Idiot

The first two are obvious, Road Warrior comes from him hitting about 10 times better on the road rather than at home in Yankee Stadium. He's An Even Bigger Idiot than Johnny Damon because he's so happy go lucky and makes so many jokes.

Hideki Matsui - Godzilla, The Professional Pull Hitter

Godzilla is obvious, The Professional Pull Hitter is pretty interesting. You know how they call some players a "professional hitter"? Well, there ain't a ball that Hideki Matsui doesn't at least try to pull.

Chien-Ming Wang - Wanger, Tiger, CMW

The first one's obvious, his MLB.com page says his nickname is "Tiger" so I guess that works too, CMW rhymes with the car BMW, and those are his initials, so...

Stay positive, Yankee fans.

-EJ the Kid From New York